Parent Consultation
I specialize in helping parents with parenting issues for children of all ages and developmental levels. Most people agree that parenting is one of the most important jobs there is and yet we receive more training in how to drive a car than we do in how to parent. Some parents feel comfortable asking for help with parenting while others find it more difficult. Sometimes parents are looking for feedback regarding a specific issue or they may be anticipating a particular situation or event and want information about how best to proceed, while others may be looking to address ongoing behavioral issues or developmental concerns. It's not uncommon for parents to feel shame or embarassment when they feel they don't have the knowledge or the skills that they think they "should" have and put undue pressure on themselves to perform in their parenting role, which only makes them feel worse. Others might direct their harsh judgements and criticisms at their child i.e. "My child is bad and makes me yell at him." Still others may feel so worried and anxious about doing the "right thing" that they become paralyzed and feel ineffective. I strive to help parents adopt realistic expectations for themselves and for their children. I work with parents to be freed from the burdens of perfection or blame so that they can be open to learning rather than being weighed down by negative self-judgments, criticism and worry. Knowledge of child development, emotional needs, boundaries, and behavioral principles can be empowering. Putting one's newly learned skills into practice provides relief and fosters feelings of satisfaction and joy for both parent and child.
I have found that it is usually best to meet with parents separately without their child present in order to address parenting issues. One of my goals is to preserve the authority of parents. Talking about what parents can be doing differently and making recommendations about discipline and home-based interventions with a child present can shift the authority from the parent to me in the eyes of a child. Among other things, children need to be able to look up to their parents and trust that they have things under control in order to feel safe and secure. Parental displays of competence and effectiveness helps to achieve this. It's not necessary that a child know where or how his parents learned what they know. The exception to this model is if abuse is occurring or has occurred. When parental authority has been misused, I usually recommend a combination of individual and/or family therapy along with parenting so that healing can occur.
I have found that it is usually best to meet with parents separately without their child present in order to address parenting issues. One of my goals is to preserve the authority of parents. Talking about what parents can be doing differently and making recommendations about discipline and home-based interventions with a child present can shift the authority from the parent to me in the eyes of a child. Among other things, children need to be able to look up to their parents and trust that they have things under control in order to feel safe and secure. Parental displays of competence and effectiveness helps to achieve this. It's not necessary that a child know where or how his parents learned what they know. The exception to this model is if abuse is occurring or has occurred. When parental authority has been misused, I usually recommend a combination of individual and/or family therapy along with parenting so that healing can occur.